


The Monster Inside

by DreamerMichiyo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-25 20:30:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20918165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerMichiyo/pseuds/DreamerMichiyo
Summary: In Harry's case, monsters didn't hide under the bed or in closets, but inside of him.





	The Monster Inside

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Limonium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Limonium/gifts).
  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [【授翻】心魔](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26392051) by [FenrirDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FenrirDawn/pseuds/FenrirDawn)
  * In response to a prompt by [Limonium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Limonium/pseuds/Limonium) in the [October_Flash_Fest_Part_One](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/October_Flash_Fest_Part_One) collection. 

> **Prompt:**
> 
> He was never under your bed, or inside your closet. So, where did the monster go?
> 
> Written for the flashfest and for Limonium. Hope you like it ❤! Many thanks to Atlanta for beta-reading ❤! It flows much better thanks to her!

**The monster inside:**

Harry remembered those stories about monsters hiding in the closets or under your bed. Children feared them. Harry had no idea what they meant until he got a bedroom of his own. 

The cupboard was not large enough to house two beings after all, so there never had been a reason to be scared. The dark and the spiders were something he grew used to. But when he got the spare bedroom that changed. Afterwards every evening before he went to bed he checked both the closet and under his bed. 

As he grew older, Harry forgot about the monsters hiding in bedrooms. Voldemort and later the war had caught all of his focus and there was no time to be scared of silly children's tales. 

Besides, after years of checking, he had never found any monsters inside his bedroom. 

It was when Harry watched Snape's memories that he figured out how stupid he had been. If he had paid attention, he would have seen the signs. He would have known that the monster was not under his bed or in his closet. It had been inside of him all along. 

Harry sat down, feeling the reason to fight leave him. He was nothing but a pig raised for slaughter and Dumbledore and Snape had known. Honestly the betrayal he felt was nothing. Instead he felt the urge to tear at his scar. To get the horcrux out of him _ without _ dying. 

Harry stared down at his hands numbly. Inside of him was a piece of Voldemort’s soul. Voldemort was a part of him and Harry didn't know how to feel about it. Mostly he just felt disgusted that he had a piece of the Dark Lord’s soul inside of him. Felt angry that to stop Voldemort, he would have to die and Voldemort himself must do it according to Dumbledore. Harry didn't know if he had the courage necessary to walk up to Voldemort and _ let _ himself be killed. His trembling hand went to the lighting scar on his forehead and he rubbed his fingers over it. 

Perhaps it was that which made him appear. Harry didn't move but was well aware of the dark presence in the silent office. 

"You think that I am the monster," Voldemort hissed in his cold, sibilant voice. "But Dumbledore is far worse." 

His heart clenched and his throat tightened. "You knew." He gasped, finally looking up and lowering his hand. Voldemort was standing in front of him, red eyes staring down at him. 

"Of course I knew. I could feel things I hadn't felt in ages or perhaps had never felt at all. This connection between us intrigued me. It didn't take long before I realised what it was. A soul bond strengthened with blood." 

Harry stared up at him, knowing that there was no way Voldemort would raise his wand and kill him. He didn't move when Voldemort took two steps forward, stopping directly in front of him. 

"You have been fighting for so long. I can see you're tired, child," Voldemort murmured, carefully raising his hand towards Harry's face. "Let me help you rest." 

Harry shivered when Voldemort's fingers trailed over his scar and then down to swiftly pull his glasses from his nose. He should fight him, but Voldemort was right. He was a mess and so tired of it all. 

Voldemort raised his wand, putting the tip under Harry's chin, causing him to crane his neck even more. Harry's breath hitched when the Dark Lord leaned in, red eyes gleaming and a small smile tugging on his lipless mouth. 

"Monsters don't exist under beds or inside closets, Harry. People are the true monsters, but they hide it so well. Lord Voldemort instead embraced it." The words were whispered against his lips and Harry felt a chill run down his spine. 

Harry looked into Voldemort's eyes and he didn't know what he was looking for. Yet even though there was the tip of a wand digging into his neck, he didn't feel scared or threatened. 

Voldemort's eyes softened as he placed a small kiss on Harry's forehead. "You know I take good care of what is mine." 

Harry's eyes slipped closed with a soft sigh. It felt like all his worries were washed away. An arm snaked around him, and a large hand landed on his back, gently pulling him up from the stairs where he had been sitting. 

"Let go, my precious," Voldemort whispered in his ear. "There is no shame in being yourself. Show them your anger and your hatred. I can feel it burning deep inside you, hidden away so well." 

Harry's hands reached out and tightened in Voldemort's robes. He wanted to. All of it has been so unfair. Just a few years ago he had wanted to destroy Dumbledore's office and let it all out. 

Voldemort chuckled lowly and Harry shivered in his grasp. "Do it. There is no one stopping you." The hand on his back and the wand digging into his neck disappeared. 

Harry's eyes shot open. He was standing alone in the headmaster's office. His heart beating rapidly inside his chest, his body feverish and warm. If he focused he could still feel the imprint of a hand against his back and the tip of a wand against his neck. 

Harry let out a breath, suddenly aware that his glasses were on his nose and his vision was clear. Anxiously he glanced around, but the office was empty. It was as if Voldemort hadn't been there at all. As if he was nothing but a demon inside his mind and body, taunting him. Yet, the burning desire to wreck Dumbledore's office was still there, just underneath the surface,_ and it wanted to be let out. _

His body was trembling almost violently with desire. It was wrong,_ so wrong _, but Harry couldn't stop. One swish of his wand and a scream of Bombarda destroyed the pensieve. The liquid falling onto the stone floor and Harry gasped, because it felt so good to see the object shatter. Still it did nothing to ease the burning inside of him. Instead, it was like fuel to the burning fire. He swished his wand again and again, letting out his screams of fury and betrayal. 

Finally, when the office was looking like a warzone, just like outside of the room, he stood there breathing heavily. His wide eyes taking in the damage that he had caused. 

A hissing laugh sounded behind him and two long arms, covered in a black robe, pulled him back into a hard chest. Harry didn't move away when Voldemort placed a kiss against his temple. Satisfaction poured through their link and Harry closed his eyes with a breathy laugh, leaning against the body behind him. 

He still felt so tired, but it was different now. It felt as if he was free. As if he had thrown invisible shackles off and now he was free to do whatever he wanted. 

"Lord Voldemort is waiting," Voldemort whispered. "It is time." 

Harry sluggishly blinked his eyes open. Right, Voldemort had called for his surrender and was waiting. For one second Harry thought about the war and about how he should leave. Should leave and find a way to die, but Voldemort would _ never _ let him. 

The arms tightened around him as if wanting to keep him. There was nowhere he could hide. This soul piece, this monster inside of him would tell Voldemort where he was at all times. 

"You're the true monster." Harry muttered and Voldemort laughed, raising his hand and grasping Harry's chin. 

He turns Harry face so that he was faced with the monstrosity that was inside of him. "Then what does that make you, Harry. We are one and the same. It is of no use denying this." 

Harry absentmindedly rolled Malfoy's wand through his fingers. He wanted to wipe that smug expression off of Voldemort's face and the thought only made Voldemort's grin widen. 

"Such dark thoughts you have. Lord Voldemort will have a lot of fun with you," Voldemort promised darkly and Harry felt a cold finger trace over his cheek, felt a slight sting of the nail. "_ So _ much fun."   



End file.
